Bulling has been in the news a lot lately. I know we have all been there. Someone has teased us and called us names. Maybe you have bullied someone in your past and regret it. I myself have been bullied multiple times growing up. My mom always said (and still to this day says), "Chin up Tina, It will all come out in the wash." This advice a lot of prayers and a little faith has got me through many tough spots in my life. Whether it be getting teased at school or dealing with my many surgeries I have endured over the past 10 years. To me this means that everything happens for a reason.
Let me give you some history about what has been going on with me the past couple years. A couple of years a go I was losing weight steadily I had lost 90 lbs and everything was going in the right direction. My goal was in site just 40 lbs away. Then I began to get mental about my weight loss. You see I love attention I was enjoying all the attention I was getting for losing weight. Then for some reason I started telling my self that I was not worthy of any attention. I started thinking it was ok to eat while I was studying for school because I have to stay up and get it done. Also during this time my hormones started to mess up causing these feelings to be amplified. You see due my surgeries I started going through forced menopause Fast forward two years I find myself back where I started weight wise. I have gone to the doctor and getting my hormones back to where they need to be.
A few weeks ago I met online an amazing girl she reached out to me. I can not tell you how much helping her as helped me in turn. The biggest a ha moment that I have had in years happened. After having a discussion about bullies I realize that I have been bulling my self for as long as I can remember. Telling my self "your so fat", "Your not worth it", "Why should they pay attention to you". I realized this and it was like a rush of relief to me. I figured it out. Yea, my hormones were off but the real problem was my brain. I brainwashed my self with self deprecating humor and mean remarks. As much as those kids from childhood were cruel to me I was even more mean to myself. I realized that this has to stop, NOW!!! I have to be nice to myself and feel good in my own skin.
I challenged that wonderful girl and the ladies in my tops group and myself to write down notes. Notes that say things like "You are worth it", "You can do it", "You are amazing." . Tell your self when you look in the mirror,"I might not be where I want to be but I will not give up" Find something you love about your body everyday. Even if you feel it is a lie right now. If you tell yourself these good things often soon you will believe it. Your brain will take over and you will become who you want to become. You will begin to shape your self and not just settle for what the world gives you. You will start to fall in love with yourself. This is not being conceded it is being confident in who you are as a person.
Today, I find my self wanting to help people even though I am struggling myself. I am a Beachbody Coach, Personal Trainer, Tops Leader and a Gymnastic Coach. Because I love to help people achieve their goals. Whether it is a gymnast who just finally got a skill or an adult who just made up the stairs without losing there breath for the first time in years . This excites me I want to help you check off your goal list. Lose 10 pounds, Check, Control emotional eating, Check, or Fit into that sexy outfit for date night with my hubby. Check check. I also agree totally with my mother " It will all come out in the wash" because I know that everything I have gone through has prepared me for now and the future. Now, I can help the many women who have gone through Menopause let them know that there is hope losing weight because I have not given up nor will I have give up on becoming the healthiest version of me. That is my personal goal and I will love my self till I get there.
